Here’s the question of the day:
What I could do with $2100?
Answer: Plenty.
Shopping.
Home improvement.
Travel…
Ah travel, how I love thee.
For just a bit more than $2100 my family could fly to Cancun, spend five nights at an all-inclusive hotel and still have enough to fly home. Though I can’t understand why we would want to fly home.
twenty-one hundred dollars…
(more…)
Monday was National Wear Your Apron Out Day.
And though I got accused of making it up for attention so I could wear my Mother’s Day gift, I did not.
(But making up new holidays does sound fun, I’ll have to try it…)
For more pictures that tell their own stories, go to 5 Minutes for Mom.
31
November?
30
March?
31
I know because my second grade teacher taught me a trick, a trick that I still use all these years later.
Ball your hands into fists.
Now look at them. Do you see how your knuckles make bumps and valleys?
If you assign each bump and valley a month of the year, in order, the bump-months will be the ones with 31 days, while the valleys will be the ones that only have 30 (except for February, which has 28-ish days).
Confused yet?
Maybe a visual will help.
I’ve asked the Girl Wonder to be my hand model:
I’ve always been amazed that this works so well.
And it’s not just that every other month has 31 days.
Oh, no.
If you look at July and August, they are both on bumps and they both have 31 days.
Thanks Mrs. Hoback for teaching me this trick!
For more tips and tricks visit Works for Me Wednesday at Rocks in my Dryer.
This is my 100th post. Let’s all take a moment to reflect.
Finished already?
All right then.
I know it is a bloggy tradition to mark this day with a list of 100 things about me. So I wrote my list.
But I won’t be publishing it. (more…)
My mom (second from the left) with her sister and some friends:
I always knew my mom was funny.
I’ve told stories about her to friends, family members, and strangers in line at the grocery store. People always crack up at her antics.
But thanks to the wonders of the internet, all week I’ve been able to share my “special” mom with a much wider audience.
And as Sally Fields might say, “You like her! You really like her!”
You know what? I like her too.
There is so much more I could share.
Like some of the crazy things she said and did at the nursing home where she worked. For example, the time she thought a woman was saying “I’m going to dine”. My mom patted her hand and told her, “Oh, yes they are coming to take you in just a minute.” Unfortunately, the poor thing was really saying, “I’m going to die”.
Or I could tell you all about the time she went to Jazzercize and following the instructor’s direction to “tighten those cheeks” made Mom’s mouth really sore.
Oh, and who could forget her love for ice cream? Once she told me that she ate a whole brick of it in the car on the 25 mile drive home from the store. When I told her, “Mom, you can’t do that!” She said, “Sure I can. I keep a spoon in my glove box.”
My mom has left her purse on the top of the car and driven away at least a dozen times.
She has picked up driftwood at the beach, only to discover it to be dog poop. But it was pretty dog poop.
She has tried cleaning her glasses with furniture polish and then couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her eyes.
The list goes on and on…and new stories are added everyday.
I could probably make this blog all about her and never run out of material. (Shhh…don’t give her any ideas!)
Instead, I’ve offered to set my mom up with a blog of her very own when I come to visit. That way she can tell her own stories. I’ll share the URL once we get it going.
Speaking of sharing, I’d like to share a little message with my mom:
Happy Mother’s Day and thanks for the laughs!
If you’ve enjoyed my My Mom’s Funnier than Your Mom series, please leave a comment for her here.
I know she’ll be reading, just as soon as she finds her glasses.
It certainly was fun hearing how your kids’ moms rock!
I wish you could all win, but as my mom used to say “Life’s not fair!”
So, here are the winning numbers according to random.org:
6 9 15 20
Let’s see who those belong to, shall we? (I’m so excited!)
#6 I rock cause I make my kids laugh! I don’t always cook, clothe, or feed them but they giggle through their poor raising!
I would want mt fruit roll up to say “You are not REALLY going to eat me are you?”
Be blessed!
Jennifer
Comment by jennifer — May 8, 2008 @ 12:48 pm
I loved her comment!
(Even though the thought of eating something that says “Don’t eat me!” made the Girl Wonder cry, but she’s just weird like that.)
#9 Hmmmm, my first thought would be to put *my seven year old’s name* ’s Mom Rocks! But, my ten year old may be feeling like a middle child again and get all surly and feel left out. She tends to do that. Pretty sure my oldest middle schooler would be ok with it as he would be mortified if I brought *ANYTHING* to school for him and singeled him out. And the baby could care less as long as she gets one.
So then I was thinking go with *our last name* kids’ Mom Rocks!!! And then what? Splitting the box in half? Only giving them to the kids they each like?
So I gotta go with brownie points and do something like the one with our last name, but send them in lunch boxes for a few days so they can make all the other students jealous, and then give a few to each teacherI love to teach my kids the art of brownnosing!!!!
Thanks for the offer
Comment by Bahama Shores Mama — May 8, 2008 @ 1:46 pm
I am so happy that I can support her brown-nosing! And I love the decision making process.
#15 I rock because I stay at home with my three kids to make sure they get all the love, attention and care they deserve. Their father rocks because he works full time but still comes home and never runs out of the energy to spend with us.
I’d put Our family name on them
Comment by Kari Follett — May 9, 2008 @ 2:14 am
Awww! That’s so sweet!
#20 Oh wow! I would love, love, LOVE to be the coolest aunt to my nieces Emma,8 & Annabelle,5! They are my two sweethearts and I love to surprise them with neat stuff. I would want a rollup designed with there names Emma and Annabelle on them and a few cool happy faces mixed in.
Thank you for your giveaway and have a nice day!
Comment by Kristi P — May 9, 2008 @ 9:30 pm
I’m a pretty cool aunt myself! I’ve been working on a project for one of my nieces. I plan to share it next week, but here’s a little sneak-peek: (Ashley don’t look!) (more…)
My mom is a terrible driver. Just ask the mailbox.
All right, maybe I’m being too hard on her.
She only hit it four or five times.
Never mind that the mailbox was at least three car lengths from where she was trying to park. It must have snuck sneaked up on her while she was looking to see if someone was at the front door of the house.
But the mailbox wasn’t the worst of it.
I can’t even remember all the times she had a little “incident” in the car.
And since I’m striving for accuracy here at Frantically Simple, I think I’ll call and ask her.
(I don’t know how to record and post our conversation - if anyone could teach me that trick, I promise many entertaining posts will come out of it.)
Here is a transcript of our actual conversation with my commentary in italics:
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Okay maybe I would, but only for the sake of a good prank. And my mom? She’s only the easiest person to prank on the entire planet.
Like that time I was nine years old. I was playing in the backyard and found a dead bird. I don’t know how it died; it looked really, um, fresh. I stood there looking at it and thinking about how pretty it was. Even though it was dead I couldn’t bear the though of it getting eaten by a cat. So without really thinking about it, I scooped it up and took it into the house. (more…)
In the tradition of sharing really bad pictures of me I offer you this:
Yes, my hair does look better than in yesterday’s post; my mom had long since been banned from touching it. But even so, there is no getting around that this is an unflattering picture.
My mom is posing for the camera, though she forgot to put in her tooth. She is just happy to be holding my tiny Girl Wonder.
My sister and I are pee-your-pants laughing, probably at something our mom said.
She says funny hilarious things all the time. The problem is, she doesn’t mean to.
I’ve already blogged about the prosthetic/prostate mix-up.
Here are a few more in that vein:
(more…)
(go ahead, you know you want to...)
